Insane bastard
by Tsuki Daiyamondo
Summary: Kimblee blow up somethings and discover that Major Miles have some fetishes. That means Kimblee's boredoom in Briggs is not going to exist anymore. This fanfic is only an excuse to write some lemmon. Enjoy. RATED M, YOU'RE WARNING. BDSM AND THOSE THINGS. Kimblee is awesome as f.
**Disclaimer** : I don't own Full Metal Alchemist, I don't own Olivier Armstrong, Major Miles, Briggs's soldiers or Kimblee (btw I really want to own him so badly).

 **Rated:** M 'cause bad language, Kimblee being Kimblee, sexually explicit, violence and of course, a lot of yaoi. Don't like, don't read.

 **OoC:** Hey, I tried my best.

 **Genre:** Romance? Humor? This is only an excuse to write some lemmon.

 **Notes:** This is not only my first FMA fanfic, it's my first fanfic in english and I'm not a native English speaker; so, if you note errors please tell me. Thank you for reading!

Extra notes:  
Dialogs "Blablabla"

 _ **Kimblee's thoughts**_

* * *

Kimblee follows the Major Miles by ten different hallways, five lifts, seven floors, and two stairs. He complains loudly when he saw that he had to walk up stairs.

"Oh, I'm so tired; I don't believe that I can walk up that stair. Oh, how painful the life is, I think, I'm going to die here." Kimblee complains with the most false actuation of his life. He pretended a faint, to fall on Major's shoulder. "I think my nanny will have to carry me on his strong arms."

"Don't even dream about it." Miles pushed the alchemist.

"Oh, you're boring." Red Lotus makes a sad face receiving only silent in response. "Hey, I'm talking to you, don't ignore me." And Kimblee were still ignored. _**Well, if you want it.**_ Kimblee prepared an explosion clapping his hands when he felt Miles's gun touching his forehead.

"Oh, now I really got your attention, _Major_." Kimblee smirked. The alchemist stressed with sarcasm the word Major. Kimblee was over all the rules and everyone have to know it.

"You make me sick."

"I really love making people feel in that way." Kimblee smirked insane like always.

* * *

"Where are we?" Kimblee asked seeing how the Major opens a door.

"This is my office, I need to look for a papers. And how I'm your official _**Nanny**_ , I need you to know where my office is in case if you need something." Miles hate talking to the insane alchemist.

"So interesting." Kimblee clapped his hands destroying the door. "Why you look at me like that? You were taking too much." Miles's hand still trembler with the keys while Kimblee look the inside of the office.

Everything was neat and clean. Kimblee sighed, Briggs was too boring.

"Do you do anything not boring here in Briggs?"

"Well, I can drag you to the basement and torture yourself for a really long time." Major's smile disappeared from his face when Kimblee smirked at him, insane, of course. Major Miles grab his gun but it was late, Kimblee was already holding his arm, immobilizing him.

"That sounds really fun _Major_. Want to try?" Kimblee says and started to laugh like a maniac, as usually. "Oh, how a beautiful masterpiece is your face Major."

"Someone ever tells you that you're a repulsive human being?" Miles said.

"Normally they don't call me human, but yes, a lot. That's why I stop counting. What behind that door?"

"The bathroom." Miles response.

"And this other?" _"A locker"_ was the Miles's response. _"More boring things"_ Kimblee said internally. "And this?" **BOOM.** Miles were nervous.

"That's my room."

"Oh, I understand. I'll take into account, Major."

* * *

There were approximately 3 in the morning; Kimblee was walking by the hallways completely bored. He tried to upset Fullmetal but he can't, the little one was serious and boring. And that upset the Crimson Alchemist, he hate being bored. And he hates the Briggs's silence. A big explosion in that moment will be great. Ready to make blow up some things he stopped himself. Behind him, where it has to be a door, it was standing a curtain. He smirked; the explosion can wait; now he just discovered a new thing with he can play.

It was very convenient blow up Major Miles's door in the morning. Now, Kimblee can enter without making any sound.

Miles wake up when the blue light of Kimblee's alchemy light up the room, but it was late. Kimblee was pride of his abilities. Major Miles were tidied with the metal bars of his bed. The ishvalan in his desperation tried to move but not only had the metal bars stopping him, the body of the crimson alchemist over him too.

" _Major_ , do you want to try your proposal?" Miles's eyes opened with fear, remembering  
his words _"Well, I can drag you to the basement and torture you for a really long time_." If Miles escape from the insane alchemist, he going to remember NEVER EVER gave another freaking idea to him. "It's a shame that I haven't brought my toys." Kimblee says while he bite Miles's collarbone, taking with it a piece of skin with blood and a delicious scream of Miles. "This is going to be useful. Oh, what do you say? Son of a bitch? Yes, it describes me really good. Thank you."

Kimblee smirked again while draw a circle with Major's blood. With transmutation's blue light the alchemist extracted a dagger from the floor. With it, first, wreak Major Miles's shirt.

"Don't like it the Major? Feel the blood boil with anger; And at the same time, freeze with fear? Oh, what an exquisite sensation." Kimblee injured Miles's neck with the dagger, while he came closer to the Major's body. With pressure not enough to kill Major Miles but enough to see the blood coming out Kimblee... _**"Mmh... ahhh"**_ stopped immediately, smiling.

"Well, that unexpected Major, I really don't think that you had that type of fetishes." Miles hit his head against the pillow. Major Miles cursed himself internally for his moan.

"Well well, this started to be more interesting. And trough that I only think to gave you a little shock." More blood, more pain. Miles felt the dagger started to cut his chest. The red liquid started to blow and Kimblee licked the dagger.

Kimblee caress Miles chest, licking all the blood with lust. He bites Miles again and a new river of blood appeared. The Major tried to curse but only can moan loudly when Kimblee rubbed his erection with his own.

The alchemist stands up laughing with the white face full of blood. Miles, in the bed, were fighting to not faint.

"I don't know why I thought that you'll go to resist a little more, _Miles._ "Kimblee smirked still with the, now, red dagger in his hand and his laugh trying to wake up again. He grabs Miles's gun with he's free hand. "Can I borrow this? Of course I can. Sorry, I don't want to have risks when I release you. I'm going to leave now, understand? I really love if I'll able to see your face when you see the marks of your chest but I'm going to laugh so loudly that I will wake up all of Briggs. _And you don't want that they discover your fetish, no?_ " Kimblee smile while he unto the metal bars from Miles's body.

"Call me when you want another orgasm like that Major, but I'll go to charge the next to your account." Kimblee laughs again. He'll wait to kiss Major Miles, the next time will be. Yes, Kimblee was sure that gone to be a second time. He smirked; finally he found some fun in Briggs.

* * *

The morning came, and Miles can't lies to himself thinking that that was a dream when he saw all the blood in his bed. He goes to the bathroom to have a shower but when he saw himself in the mirror he screams so loudly that it woke up all the soldiers in Briggs.

Miles cursed all Kimblee's family tree and Kimblee during hours. Now, he is going to have his chest with a lot of scars forming the word "Kimblee." Disgusting and sadistic maniac.

Miles knocked General Armstrong's office door and walk in with her permission. But the insane smile makes his breath away.

"Sit down Miles; you have a lot of paperwork. And the Crimson Alchemist was looking for you. He insisted to wait for you here."

Kimblee smiled from the corner with his insane smile. Miles took all the papers that General Armstrong gave to him and leaves the office followed by the Crimson Alchemist.

They walked around three stairs and five hallways; when they beginning to walk the sixth, the most deserted one. Kimblee takes advantage of that situation.

"How are your injuries, _Major_?" Kimblee has to crouch to dodge a punch. "Shit and I was thinking to give back your gun. Anyway, I lost it. Good luck to me." Another punch, this time, Kimblee grabs Major Miles's arm and pushed him to the wall. Kimblee, like the snake he was, got close with his body to Major's one.

"K-I-M-B-L-E-E" Spells his name, letter by letter, drawing it in Miles's chest injuries with his fingers. " _Mine._ " Say Kimblee with a warm moan in Miles's ear, touching the ishvalan jaw with a gun. Miles's gun. "Oh, look, I found it."

Someone's walk was listened in the distance and Kimblee hide the gun in his clothes while Miles tried to not fall in the floor and trying to stop shaking his legs. A Briggs's soldier walked away in front of them.

"Walk away _Major_. Your office is near here." Miles will try to punch him again, if only his body reaction or at least, stop trembling. Insane bastard.

* * *

Miles leave the papers over the desk and falls in the chair, while Kimblee stare at him with his maniac smile from a corner of the room. The curtain still trying to act like a door, later Kimblee fix that with alchemy if it were necessary. He doesn't want anything to interrupt him.

"So, Major, you don't tell me. The injuries hurt?" Kimblee laugh while he sits over the desk. "Paperwork, soooooooooo boring, I hate it. There are a lot funnier things that one can do. I always make the paperwork burn and laughed around twenty minutes, there was really effective. They send me to a psychiatrist although, but hey, no more paperwork."

"Do you ever take something seriously?"

"Nope." Miles stands up from his seat confronting Kimblee.

"Insane bastard." Kimblee laughed.

"Well, that's new." Kimblee clapping his hands, moved to dodge a punch. "Don't underestimate me, _Major_. I don't believe that it's a good idea fight against an _insane bastard_ who loves blow everything he finds; at least, not without a weapon."

Miles stopped in his place, leaning his fists on the desk side by side Kimblee's hip. When Major Miles finish in front of a Zolf J. Kimblee with his legs open around his hip it was a really big mystery. _"Insane bastard, he moves like a snake"_ Miles though.

Kimblee smirked while he untied his raven hair only to tied it again.

"You don't answer me about your injuries, _Major_. Want me to refresh your memory with new ones?"

Miles exploded grabbing Kimblee from his hair and kissing him like a beast. Sexual tension? A lot. Miles's effort to not jump on Kimblee's neck during the day took a long holiday in the cold mountains.

Kimblee loves the explosions and the flavor of the blood in his lips; he doesn't know who bite who during the kiss, but that was an unnecessary detail when he felt the iron on his mouth.

"Miles, you forget this paper in my office…" Olivier Mia Armstrong was a woman who saw a lot of weird things in Miles's office. Sometimes she found him sleeping. Another she found him really drunk and crying about a duck who was in the television. There was a time that she found him leaving the bathroom with a really disgusting smell. But she never ever thought that one day she'll find his most loyal ishvalan soldier with his nose on Zolf J. Kimblee's neck. And, at the same time, never thought that she'll find Kimblee half undressed, tousled and with a schoolgirl blush.

"M-my Ge-general!" Well, we have to say that Miles wasn't too in good conditions.

"Miles, before talk to me, wear your uniform like a good soldier; I don't need to saw that marks in your neck. **Second,** clean that blood in your lips, Crimson's company is a bad influence to you. **Third** , stop trembling and stutter. **Fourth** , you forget this paper. **Fifth** , keep that dirty things to you free time, not to work time. And **sixth** , SHOW TO THAT CENTRAL'S LIZARD OF WHAT BRIGGS'S MANS WAS MADE OFF. DEMOSTRATE OF WHAT BRIGGS IS ABOUT. And you Kimblee, he is MY soldier. I want it back in perfect conditions. Understand?"

"Sorry General, I think that I have to give it back with a scratch or two." Kimblee smirked while he touched his lip. It was bleeding like a crap, Miles has the credit; the pain was delicious.

Olivier left only to come back with an ultimatum.

"Miles, I WANT YOU OVER HIM OR I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU."

* * *

Miles was doing the paperwork in the cafeteria. There was a group of soldiers taking advantage of the free time, and Kimblee. He was trying to claim Miles's attention throwing paper balls to his head.

"I'm bored Miles."

"When do you start calling me Miles?"

"Well, it's going to be really weird if I called you Major Miles while I'm riding you. Or that's other of your fetishes?"

"KIMBLEE." Miles screamed, there were a lot of people around. "You don't know how to speak slowly?"

"You are screaming, _Mileeeees._ "Kimblee says while humming too sweet.

"Don't you have something better to do?"

"Of course I have. But there are a lot of soldiers here, and you don't want that they saw you moaning like a…"

"STOP. THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN." Miles return to his paperwork, trying to ignore the sexual commentaries that Crimson was doing.

"Hey, hey Miles. Want to know what we can do tonight?" Kimblee does a warm moan in Miles's ear like a snake. The Major nearly falls of his chair.

"Can you stop?"

"Nop." Kimblee says throwing another paper ball. "Wait, I have an idea."

Miles tried to ignore him but it can't be when Kimblee clap his hands.

"Perfect." Kimblee says while kissed Miles between the times that soldiers run for them lives with the fear of an explosion and the time they come back because that nothing explodes. Yet.

Kimblee came back to his seat while he made blow a few paper balls and Miles was yet with his gun shaking in his hand.

"Oh Miles, you make me feel sad. All of these years being married and you still don't trust on me." Kimblee says with false sad voice while Miles sits in his chair again.

"We are not married Kimblee."

"What do you say honey? All of these years were false? You don't still love me? Wait, no, you still do. I'm perfect and hot like hell. Who cannot love me?" Miles bite his tongue cursing himself for his thoughts and hitting his head against the table while Kimblee laughs. "I can't wait to show you my toys, _Miles._ "

"You're an insane bastard."

"I agree."

* * *

Major Miles was all the day repeating to himself that that will not happen. He was not going to fuck the Crimson Alchemist. Never. But, when the night came he found himself in front of Kimblee's door.

When Kimblee says _**"toys"**_ Miles though something simple, not a FUCKING TORTURE HALLEY.

"How do you find those things?"

"You are really not familiar with the alchemy, don't you?" Kimblee hugs him over his shoulders with a naughty smile. "Well. Want to start, _Major_?"

The coherent part of his brain that still works order him to leave from there, but his body doesn't want to obey, and although Kimblee's lips and arms make him never want to escape.

When Miles touch with his back the wall and felt handcuffs he lost all the selfcontrol that still had and surrendered against that maniac with a smile.

Miles's clothes were reduced to pieces over the floor and he doesn't know when. He can only think about Kimblee, in the pain of new injuries in his chest and the alchemist's hands over his body. And, Kimblee's mouth biting softly his erection.

Seeing the Crimson's pale skin drowned with the red blood, was near exciting than think in all of the violet bruises he's going to do to Kimblee's body when he gets freedom.

The dagger that Kimblee used the last time was in his chest, drawing it with blood. Kimblee kissed Miles aggressively. The injury of Kimblee's lips start to bleed again in the furious kiss with the ishvalan teethes. Kimblee moans with pleasure.

"Tell me Miles, ready to makes feel pride your General?" Kimblee smirked while he let free Major Miles from the handcuffs. Miles jump to him like a beast. He grabs Kimblee's legs putting them over his shoulders. For a moment, Miles hesitated, thinking in prepare Kimblee.

"Do you have oil?" Kimblee laughs, that was really unexpected.

"Are you a lady? Do you know who I am? If you don't have the balls to do it Miles, turn around and kneel." Then, Miles remember that Crimson was a fucking sadist maniac. With that in mind, Miles entered inside him screaming with pleasure and Kimblee cried in both, pleasure and pain.

Miles thought that he really deserves Kimblee's nails scratching his back after that. Showing Briggs's strength he takes the alchemist's body pulling him against the wall and entering again. Miles smirked while he felt his blood running by his back. With the movements Kimblee's hair gets free and Miles used to his revenge. Miles's immobilize Kimblee grabbing his hair, forcing him to leave his neck at the mercy of his lips.

Kimblee blinded by the pleasure, nearly asphyxiated with his own moans; was a thing that Miles never thought that he can see in his life when he meet that insane bastard. And, just in case, he never thought that that makes him feel nearly to his edge in the way it did.

Miles release the alchemist hair and get close body with body. Miles kissed Kimblee, dogging an Alchemist's attempt to bite his lip.

"Don't try to bite me again or I'll kill you."

"We'll see."

Kimblee take advantage in the moment that Miles soften his grab to make him to fall in the floor. The alchemist kissed the Major's body and tried to bite him again. Miles's grab him from his hip forcing him to sit on his cock. Kimblee accepted without any objection, while Miles raised him slowly over him and Kimblee falls abruptly.

Kimblee had to curve his back in an insane form, moaning with pain and pleasure. Miles doesn't know what was sexier, Kimblee's moans o Kimblee riding him.

If someone asks why Kimblee has marks in his ass the next day; Major Miles will not deny that he started to clap Kimblee while he was moaning like a slut jumping over his erection.

 _ **"Mi-miles, I'm going to… Ah, ahhh"**_ Major Miles never will admit that listen Kimblee having an orgasm while riding him was the most erotic thing that he ever saw in his life. And of course, he never will admit that that make him change positions, taking Kimblee's legs and forcing him to hug his hip with the legs and then started to penetrate him faster than ever.

Miles close his eyes while his seed tried to escape from Kimblee. Then, he leaves Kimblee's body trying to don't do more injuries on him.

"That's going to leave a lot of marks." Kimblee laugh insane, but not loudly, and sights leave his tired throat. Miles love that moment, finally Kimblee's laugh don't blow up his ears.

"When we repeat, bastard? I don't know how much time I can't resist without feeling you tight ass again." Kimblee laugh again, the Major was really a big Pandora's Box.

"Well, luckily you like it. I'm going to tell you that I wasn't thinking about let you free after that. Oh, yeah, tell your General that she had my approbation. Crap, she wasn't joking about her soldiers, she really trained you very well. And I thought that Briggs was boring. She had to be really proud of you." Miles laugh closing his eyes. "Oh, by the way, take a breath; I hope you don't think that this is over. Show me that resistance that Brigg's mans always talks about." Kimblee smirked getting close to Miles, starting to kiss him again. Miles smiled, yes; it was going to be a really long night.

* * *

Miles was on General Armstrong's office, giving her a hand with new paperwork when a letter passed under the door. The General Armstrong took it and left it on Miles's desk.

"It has your name." She says when saw Miles's face question her.

Miles open it and knew instantly who wrote it. Miles read the letter while he touches his lip's injury, Kimblee was a bastard, and he can't remember when the bastard does that. Inside of the letter was a draw of General Armstrong full of papers and little flying shits around her. Miles thinks that Kimblee had the hand of a five-year-old boy when he draws. The "letter" had something wrote too:

 _"Paperwork sucks. I'm bored Miles, I'm going to wait for you in my room after the dinner. I'm really bored you know? I was knocking your door but you didn't answer; now you have a really beautiful curtain again. Sorry? Apologies? Of course not, it's your fault.  
– Insane Bastard.  
Pd: I can't wait to show you my __**new**_ _toys."_

Miles smirked. He'll have another really long night.

.

.

.

.

.

Corrections? Love notes? Leave with a review, I hope you liked it! Thanks for reading!

pd: I posted this fic in spanish too if you want to read it, it have diferent things, like dialogs and I think the diferent thing are dialogs only. I really love the dialogs in the english one, but I prefer the lemmon in the spanish one. BTW, thanks for reading.


End file.
